Sunday, November 6, 2016

Average No More

Life changing events are not always large. They can be small, seemingly insignificant things that would have no effect on others. They can be something another would forget within the hour. 

In High School I found out that my GPA was in the middle of my class. I don't mean approximately. 

Smack dab in the middle

As in I was the average student. With an odd number of students in my class I could not even cry that it was the other middle who was actually the average one. Add to that blow hearing that the guidance counselors had used my standardized test (was it the Idaho or Iowa back then?) to show all the guidance counselors how to interpret the data. 

The shame. 

I had always been a kid who followed the beat of my own heart. I wasn't following a drummer, after all. A dear friend at the time sighed when she heard this factoid of information. She intimated that my life would be plagued by the need to prove myself NOT AVERAGE. At the time I didn't necessarily agree with her assertion, but reflection does indicate that she was prophetic. 

Haunted by the fear of being average, I have challenged myself, pushed through and done things that looking back, I can't believe were possible for me. Still, the fear remained, always taunting me with the fact that accolades have not been forthcoming and comparing myself to my contemporaries. What in the world do I have to show for myself?

Yesterday in a flash of inspiration I found my answer. I have to change my thinking. No longer will I repeat those words in my head 

"You are average." 

From Yesterday those words have been replace by something so much better. 

"You are archetypal."
"You are the prototype."
"You are universal consciousness."

My daughter's kind voice added:

"You are a classic."

I am not average. Those who know me best would tend to agree, I think. I am wonderfully unique. The word that has plagued me all these years has lost its power. I am archetypal. I will have the last word.