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Friday, December 6, 2013

Decisions, Decisions


I wrote this a couple of months ago and never posted it. Rereading it, it remains as important to me as it was then. What do you think?

Life is jammed packed full of possibilities. Some of them are responsibilities. There is only so much time, however.  Decisions must be made.

Some decisions are easy to make.

Take the garbage out now 
or 
wait until the morning when it has stewed and become more fragrant.

Tea

or
hot chocolate


Soup
or 
Pasta




Pink 


or

yellow


Other decisions are not so simple. They may involve complex layers of social pressures, conflicting desires or lack of realistic potential.

Earlier in life, decisions were so difficult for me. It seemed like there was a right answer. If only I were privy to what that answer might be. Opportunities for joy were missed in the decision making process – or should I say as I tore out my hair and gnashed my teeth trying to make the decision.

“The right answer” is something we are taught to look for as soon as papers with bubbles on them and number 2 pencils become the measure of our worth. From a young age this “right answer” colors our view of how we perform.

But there is no right answer to what cars we should buy or clothes we should wear. My hairdresser has relieved me from worrying about what my hair should look like, but I still wonder about those glasses….

The more people I talk to, the more I am convinced that we stumble through life as best we can weighing the options to the best of our ability. Sometimes we don’t’ need to make the “right” decision. We just need to make “a” decision.

Not every decision has to be made using all the available data. Sometimes, deciding is enough.

I started thinking about making decisions this morning as I had 90 minutes of free time on my hands. Part of me was tempted to take the camera and shoot film of the lovely changing leaves. I haven’t spent enough time with my camera lately. A fair on the common of the town I am in, beaconed. Yet ultimately, the library won. Last week, I was knocked out with a cold and ended up sleeping in the car in the library parking lot. Never made it to the door.



Despite the lure of the beauty outside, the library won. These rare hours of solitude are precious. Not to be squandered. Not a minute can be thrown away on pondering which choice to make. Would that these hours were elastic and could be stretched to fit all that inspires.

We still have to choose. What will fill the time? Flip a coin if you need to. Just decide and move forward.