The Wake Up Call That Put Me to Sleep

That Saturday morning I did not plan to be in the ER. Neither did my friend, who works there. She planned on enjoying her day off. 

But there we were. 

People have been telling me for years that I need to take care of myself. I agreed with them, but found myself overwhelmed with caring for other people's needs. The last few months had been particularly stressful as my parents both had trips to the ER which landed them in rehab. 

Juggling life, work, everyone's medical issues and trying to stay on top of my own had taken a toll on me. I looked haggard. 

The relentless snow did not help matters much. Thursday we had a two-hour delay at school. On such days it is my habit to start early and go slow. If I arrived early so much the better. 

But I slipped in the snow, fell over backwards and hit my head, hard, on the pavement. 

Trying to get up I only fell over again. I crawled across the parking lot, grabbed onto the post and hauled myself up the stairs to clean myself up. Dutifully, I went to work. And went Friday too, despite the fact that I could barely turn my neck and I felt less than fabulous. 

Saturday morning I woke up with headache and nausea. I tried to get up and get through it, thinking I was overtired. After a couple of hours even I had to admit that I needed to go to the ER. And for once in my life, I admitted that I couldn't drive myself.

So my dear friend, who is no stranger to working long hours and having precious few hours for her own, drove me and sat with me. She took care of me more than I deserved -- especially as I have ignored her warnings for years. 

So here it is, my friends, my admission of defeat. 

The concussion that woke me up made me sleep almost 22 hours - a modern day Rip Van Winkle. 

This was followed by more than a week of napping and a prohibition on reading, screen time (tv, internet, digital camera, etc.), driving and work. 

I have woken up to the fact that I am not invincible, indestructible and I do have an expiration warning worth noting. 

I have woken up to the fact that there will be no end to my to do list and my have fun list will grown longer with nothing checked off if I do not take care. 

I have worken up to the fact that my physical health matters and I cannot be always pushing it aside to take care of someone else's needs. 

I love you all, but I need to take care of me. More time for this and it's in the best interests of all the people who need me to make this so. I was unable to do any of the the tasks on my to-do list or my super-hero list this weekend. Standing up was a monumental task. 

So, it is with love in my heart that I tell you to take a number and wait, dear ones. I want to be around to do many more things for you. But I won't do you justice unless I take this time, right now today. 

You'll be hearing the word "NO" more often, but hopefully when you hear "YES" you'll find there is more of me to go around. 

Now dear ones, I'm off to take care of me. 

Bubble Wrap and Gesso

It was time to prepare a new page. Out came the gesso to prep the page and a piece of bubble wrap fell on the floor. So I used the bubble wrap to add texture to the excess of gesso I had laid down. It made great textural marks... Some peaks and some valleys. So I added drops of color and pressed down on the wrap. Gorgeous! Too bad I didn't photograph that stage.

Tonight I added some stenciling. I was cleaning my rio and found some quilting stencils. Naturally that worked for

This project. Really, that's one of the beauties of art journaling - you can make use of almost anything. I had picked up some distress ink on sale at Michael's and tried that out. I enjoyed how it applies as well as how the color complimented it. On the left the ink wa applied to the stencil. On the right, the stencil was flipped over and printed on the paper. Can't wait to see where this spread takes me.

Here's how the bubble wrap looks now. I wonder what I can glue that to....

Trying New Things

I'm trying new things. That's nothing particularly astounding. I write this so that I can claim this blog on Bloglovin'. There are so many ways to organize the blogs I like to visit and so many ways to welcome others here. 

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Duo Dynamic

Adding depth on the page and in the experience and breaking out of journaling solo today. My fellow journal artist enhanced this experience. Talking. Not talking. Seeing how the other used materials. Talking about life and letting some of it fly onto the page. Letting some of it go. Great for the spirit and for the page. Each step I take I love more. I have no idea where I am headed, but I see with each element I add the whole becomes more dynamic. Sometimes it takes two. The creator and the viewer. I'd like to join others in art journaling, but have no idea about how to find others who have this obsession. 

Adding Sparkle

Adding layers to my page seemed at once exciting and frightening. I like what I have so far, what if I mess it up?

That kind of thinking steals so much joy out of life, doesn't it? We never reach out for fear of making mistakes. We never take the trip, meet the friend, learn something new. What if we make mistakes? 

Also I was having a crisis of style and philosophy. I have watched a number of art journal ly videos and had come to feel I didn't want to use pre-made stencils and paper designs. I was more draw to the remix/remake/recycle vibe. But I did like the effect of stencils. I settled for using some basic geometric stencils from the craft store. Balance in all things. 

I added the stencil work and tried smudging the green into the background. Here I must admit to failure . The smudging was a clear fail...that is it is a fail if I plan to leave it as it is. So my current fail becomes tomorrow's opportunity. To remember that I added some pink paint spots and shook on purple glitter. It's time to shine.

Can't wait to see where I take it next.

Adding Watercolor Pencil

Today I added watercolor pencil to my journal page. I doubt I'll be sharing the step by step process for all my entries, but I am very excited to be starting art journaling. It is something I've wanted to try for a long time. 

After giving it a start I wonder why I have waited so long to get started. Of course I know, the first steps are often the hardest. You don't really know what it entails until you get started. New things are notoriously more difficult than you imagine they will be. 

Adding marks on top of my paint with the watercolor pencil felt both freeing and wrong at the same time. I felt a little like I was participating in graffiti. After crosshatching along the elements I used a cotton swab to add the water and mix the pencil into paint. I think the effect worked very nicely….much better than I had imagined. 

Not at all sure what will come next, but I've been thinking that for the past two days. 

Adding Depth

Yesterday I put down color. Today I added depth. I used a paint trowel, a packing peanut and my fingers. I found a rhythm, a groove, a momentum and freedom I haven't felt in the creative process for some time. It was fun and refreshing. 

When I first looked at it I didn't think I liked it, though I tried to look without judgement. I worried about covering the pink and yellow that I loved so much. As I look at it several hours later I love it. I love the colors and the motion. I love how it embodies the theme I'm going for. 

I'm eager to see how it evolves and changes.

For now I'll just soak up the vibes and wallow in color.